Respect

Ron Reagan (on Air America) had yesterday a guest, Marianne Kirby who runs therotund.com, a "fat acceptance" website. And I had quite a few problems with what she had to say.

First, let me state for the stupid who would assume, I don't think fat (and note I use the word "fat" as that is the word Ms. Kirby wanted to use) people should be discriminated against solely because they are fat.

Now, Ms. Kirby claimed that she thought that there were civil rights issues regarding fat people. She wants to increase "fat acceptance" and wanted fat people to be treated with basic human dignity, etc. And I certainly don't have a problem with that. Everybody should be treated like a person.

Now with all the happy, feelgood disclaimers are out of the way, now onto the problems. Ms. Kirby appears to have conflated choice (and I use that word reservedly) acceptance and civil rights.

When ask about why there needs to be "fat acceptance" and what civil right issues she could cite in example she started on going to the doctor and that when she has gone to the doctor, they say or do things that make it clear that she should lose weight. She was upset that the doctors did not accept her weight the way she had (5'4" & 300+ lbs if I recall correctly). Would she be mad at a mechanic if he mentioned that perhaps she shouldn't pour sugar into the gas tank and not drive of flat tires? Of course not, that is what a mechanic is expert at, keeping cars running. So, why, when it is a doctor's job to try to keep us healthy (and there is a huge amount of data that indicates excess weight can cause myriad health problems) does she get upset that they are doing their job?

She also expressed irritation about clothes shopping, implying that she is being put down because only one store at the mall has clothes her size and that isn't fair. WTF? That is your civil rights issue? You want more places to shop? Sure Americans in general are overweight, but stores are going to stock what sells to the most people. Just because you choose to keep yourself fat, nobody is obliged to cater to you.

She claimed that she had previously lost significant weight and was miserable and hated her body more (a telling slip) and had since gained lots of weight back. And I can understand that perhaps it was a lot of effort and change to maintain that lower weight (I am constantly in a fight just to stay stable) but even though she decried that "people think fat people are lazy", it is exactly how she came off.

Now I am fully accepting that some people's bodies just tend toward fat (I know a few who have gone to serious measures to try to control weight) and I certainly don't like that they may feel bad about themselves because of their weight. But if you CHOOSE to be heavy, nobody else has to respect that choice.

Certainly she is no sort of "official" fat person spokeswoman, just someone who has put up a website. By doing so she puts herself up for discussion and critique. And from what I heard (which unfortunately was not her entire time on the show) there were no civil rights issues, just a desire that things were easier for her.