fraught with reason

I went to a funeral the other day.

It was for the father of a very close friend who had finally succumbed after being ill for several years with a series of serious health conditions. Even though I can sometime be wont to buck some nonsensical social customs, even I understand, regardless of belief, the importance of showing up for simple support of those you care about. Just to remind them that you are there for them and that you care.

It was also the first funeral I have been to in a while and I find something has changed.

I find that I no longer have any tolerance for this nonsense.

The Pastor was a nice woman, giving an innocuous and pleasant service claiming the availability of everlasting life, blah, blah. I am sure people found comfort as they considered their own mortality, where funeral attendance invariably leads. Prior to this, I had pretty much always been able to let it slide by, just sort of ignoring it on the grounds of it being harmless fantasy to comfort people. But that just didn't happen.

This time I found the whole thing incredibly childish. Listening to an adult proffering this fairy tale to other adults as fact in a time of very real emotional distress was absolutely comedic if not also tragic. I looked around with some dismay realizing that it was likely that a very good percentage of the people I was sitting with actually took this silliness to heart. That there was a magic man in the sky who was going to make them live forever and that he was good even though he had visited a series for cruel turns on the deceased. And if we just say the magic incantation, we will live forever too.

I understand the cause. It is the simple fear of death, the horror of ceasing to be. I can't say I am thrilled by the idea of dying but I think I have accepted it as a simple part of life. I can't say the concept troubles me that much. I know that lots of people aren't there yet (or will never be). And I am not really placing this on their heads. Come think of it, I really can't place it on the pastor's head either. I am sure she truly thinks it is a good thing and it helps. But I can't believe that this collective lie is good or productive. Rather than focus on this fairy tale later existence, we should focus on this one to make it better for us now and for those who come after.

I am afraid this this is just the beginning as I think I am entering one of those time periods in life when things bunch up, wedding of friends, baby announcements, and now the passing of friends parents.